Just got to my hotel after having dinner in Mongo´s, and as always surprised by the diverse crowd that assists to that place. I really like La Paz, it´s a very unique and cosmopolitan place.

My trip to Bolivia is almost over. This is my last night and my stomach is aching as it always does when I travel. My coworkers looked at me suspiciously as I ordered skinless tomatoes and bottled water; still I´m sure I´ve caught some kind of bacteria. Today we met with Marcos, the scriptwriter of the radionovela we are producing and that will be broadcasted across Bolivia next year. I got excited as we talked about production matters: selecting music, dealing with copy-right issues, hiring a local producer, casting non-actors from rural communities and putting all the pieces together for the recording sessions. I miss being part of the creative process and not just managing the people and resources to make things happen.

An old lady approached me on the plane in Miami and asked if I could hold her bag during the flight. ¨Inside are my son´s ashes¨ she said in the most solemn way. The flight attendant came rapidly and asked me not to hold the bag and left me feeling that I could have help the woman anyway. I´m now in Bolivia for the 2nd time this year and the 3rd in the last 7 months. Probably that´s why when I landed in La Paz after being in Santa Cruz for a few days I felt as if I was returning home. A few days ago we were travelling south of Santa Cruz, near the border with Argentina and Paraguay. The driver explained how most accidents happen when drivers hit cows, sheep or goats. I´ve never seen so many vultures eating dead animals by the road. The clouds in Bolivia are closer to the ground, or so it seems, and it always gives me the feeling that I will be able to touch them if I try really hard.

Today is a typical humid and sunny summer afternoon. I'm at my place resting my mind before packing for my trip to Bolivia and Peru tomorrow. I feel absolutely saturated, my life has been spinning in many directions lately, and even when a long trip to South America seems like a good way to get myself back together I don't feel like going. I'm not the adventurous kind. I rather enjoy the NY summer, watching Kronos Quartet in Prospect Park, than traveling to 4 Bolivian cities in 4 days, riding on winding roads and flying on 10-passenger (and very old) Cessna planes.
Brenda "dreadlocks" is staying at my place. She will be here all the time I'm traveling, keeping the "Brenda" presence while I'm out. We met with Sandrita last night in Brooklyn for dinner at a cozy Italian place. It's funny how you can feel so comfortable with friends you haven't seen in so long, and for a moment pretend you've never left your hometown. "It's been my lifelong dream to be in Machu Pichu" Sandrita told me while taking a bite of her prosciutto, and I wished my trip was not a business one so I could take my friends with me.

These have been strange times. Natalia and Pepe, two of the most important people for me, left New York for good the past weekend. I'm now in DC participating at a conference on International Development, working on a proposal for a media project in India, and silently watching the Michael Jackson memorial on CNN.  My mother came to visit me along with her boyfriend. He is a man of few words and soft temper; I wish she was with someone with an opinion, or at least with the ability to hold a conversation. Still, she looks beautiful and happy.

Capuchi complained that I haven’t updated my blog in a long time, so here I am, writing so he can follow me from Tijuana. I might have told you already, but yesterday was my 7th anniversary in New York City. Lots of faces and names passed in front of me. I moved into the city with Javier, to whom I married and later divorced; and since then my life has changed several times in lots of different ways. Back then I couldn’t afford to spend more than $10 dollars a day, but I was producing biweekly documentaries for the local TV station, and many doors opened for me. I first fell in love with New York at the opening party of the MOMA in Queens. I went with my friend Diego. I was surprised about how such a diverse crowd of graffiti artists, art philanthropists, financiers, and undocumented immigrants could break-dance to Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean at the same dance floor. I came very young, a post-teenager wearing stylish t-shirts and converse; now I look like more like a grown-up, with red nail polish and black high heels.

Mr. Lupercio was talking last night about how he risked his life while researching about a prostitution ring in Guadalajara. He seems like the perfect man, someone that has rescued more than 800 young women from sexual violence, providing a shelter, a home, and a way to move on with their lives. People with high moral standards impress me. I somehow believe we all have a dark side, which we either learn to live with, or we endlessly fight. Who is incorruptible? We all live up to our standards, hoping to avoid anything that will give us a reason to be untruthful to ourselves.

Tuesday night Oscar, Pepe and I met at Joe’s Shanghai on 56 Street for diner. Chinese restaurants are kitsch by nature, several golden real-size animals, green velvet seats, plastic flowers, mirrors, a red shrine with Christmas lights and palm trees. Adding to the atmosphere, they played a wide selection of music from the 80s and 90s, Pat Benatar, Brian Adams, Toto, Sade, Billy Joel. We ordered clam and pork soup dumplings as we talked about our uncertain future (Pepe is moving back to Mexico in a few days as he was unable to get a new job). By the time we finished the two orders of dumplings and a plate of pan-fried noodles the three of us were exhausted, and we sat in silence for 20 minutes. It felt like a scene in a movie.

We ended at Happy Endings in the Lower East Side dancing inside an old steam room while the DJ was playing well-known songs broken into unrecognizable beats. I haven’t danced free-style for a long time, and it was certainly a good way to “officially” enter my 30’s. That is if you are official when you are over 30 and turning 31. My birthday wish/resolution is to stop the inertia to control everything in my life and just let things flow. Enjoy more, complain less.
My longtime friend Arloinne is getting married in less than a month even when she has always being opposed to the idea. She doesn’t believe that love comes in the shape of a sole partner for life. In her own words “you could fall in love with almost anyone; you can always find something to share, in common, or of interest in whomever you meet”. I find this is idea truly optimistic and good to share with all my single -but looking for someone special- friends.

Witnessing acts of courage always makes me cry; I get mixed feelings of beauty, sadness and confidence. I cry when I see old, sick or overweight people running marathons. It’s even stronger when these acts are performed on smaller everyday activities such as disabled people carrying their own groceries, old people making their way to the movies or the homeless man in my neighborhood giving out Chirping Chicken flyers to the passersby. Some days you need certain nerve to take small decisions, the same you need to change your life dramatically. My boss is moving to Rome with her boyfriend in a month, leaving behind her job, apartment and lifestyle in New York. I guess you wake up one morning knowing it is time to move on and modify your destiny.